Is it hot in here?

Here I sit...sweating.
I sweat all the time. I sweat when there is no possible reason to sweat. I worked up a full lather this morning just looking for my socks. I was looking, mind you, not actually performing any physical labor...just SITTING ON MY BED looking!

I am 40 years old and have struggled with my weight for over 20 years. I just recently realized that just because I am sweating does not mean I am burning calories.
If that were true I would have 2% body fat, a set of washboard* abs and wouldn't make disgusting noises when getting out of chairs.

(or walking, or sleeping, or cooking, or showering, or standing still, or....you get the picture)

Why am I always sweating?! I am THE sweaty fat guy! I'm a cliche'! If I have to be a cliche' why cant I be the super svelte handsome guy with long locks of hair! Now that is a cliche' I could live with...although lots of times on the covers of those romance books they are pretty sweaty.

I need to go for now. My computer can only take so much typing before the sweat runs off my head down my arms and into the keyboard where it shorts out the -Error: moisture levels critical-

*Washboard abs- is this really the best adjective to describe a flat stomach? Is the sexiest of all appliances...the washboard?

Could there be a better appliance to liken your stomach to? Refrigerator abs? Toaster abs? Garbage disposal abs? Mixing bowl abs?

Kitchen table abs? They all sound kind of gross...washboard abs is clearly winner in this group.